there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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