Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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