Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
