Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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