this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
