I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
