I need help removing her.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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