We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
