Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
