I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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