Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
