There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
