Ambien. No doubt about it.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize