Well douche your snatch and let's go!
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
