She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
