im drinking this country out of the recession.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
So vagazzling was a success
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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