It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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