The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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