it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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