I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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