"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
