Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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