This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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