Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
