Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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