she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
