Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
