"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We're too hungover to prance.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
