oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I am in a vortex of obligation.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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