I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
