if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
