so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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