Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize