Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
