Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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