It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
