Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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