woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
