Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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