We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
