the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
