I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
