If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
