i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We were destined to go to rehab together
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
