I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
