I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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