Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
