addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
