We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
