can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
