he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
