I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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