i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
