I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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