dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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