Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
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