a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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