My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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