I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
