I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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