She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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