Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
