Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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