i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize