My friends, they love my intelligence
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
