I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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